Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Newsworthy

I enjoy reading the news (Noah, you're scoffing, I can sense it... Noah is a much more devout news devourer, and conversations usually end with me looking uber-uninformed). I'll admit, I don't read religiously. But my job is fairly news-oriented and when I'm looking for clients' coverage, I am always really interested (read: distracted) by the other newsworthy topics of the day.

But I have a problem. I cannot NOT read the comments section after stories. I can't help it. It is a scratch that MUST be itched. I'm sure I can blame it on that same slice of the human psyche that can't resist watching a trainwreck ... because wow. A trainwreck indeed.

Seriously, who ARE these people?! (Surely, not the type of people who take the time to rant about ranters on their blogs. Hypocritical irony noted. Guilty.) No matter what the story, no matter the topic, these comment trains inevitably crash toward an, "Oh yeah, utgrams968?! Bring it!" conclusion and are littered with shoddy arguments and angry half-truths along the way. Who knew "Britain's Prince Harry and Girlfriend Split" could spark such heated debates?

The best part of these comments is the fact that there is SO much poor grammar and spelling on this planet. These comments would have me believe that 80% of the world's newspaper readers are, in fact, illiterate. Trust me, cheerGRL17*, there is no quicker way to debunk your argument than a sentence that reads like this...

"Over all, you jokers that support there views are rediculous!! Stop trying to force you're Morales on everyone!!!!!"**

I particularly enjoy the excessive use of punctuation. Does anyone else have the same unhealthy obsession?

*Screen names that are used to protect the innocent have been changed to protect the innocent.
**I did not see this ACTUAL sentence. It is a combination of a few of my top picks. "Morales" was especially a favorite.

9 comments:

Ashley said...

Sheesh, finally some new posts on here. Get a kid! I hear you on the their-there, its-it's, your-you're plague of our nation. It even drove me crazy during the jr high note passing days. But I do have an unhealthy obsession with a particular punctuation. The ... . I use it way too much...

Natalie said...

As someone who has been on the recieving end of the comments about my stories (hehe, that sentence makes me sound so authoritive) I always found them much more amusing than the stories. But...I couldn't help but think -- who has all day to fight with these people they don't even know? Losers! Oh...maybe the same ones who blog all day like me. Shoot.

Rileys said...

Allison, just on the note of watching a trainwreck, the other day Caysie and the girls saw some guy who was walking get hit by a car...do you have any idea how bad I have always wanted to see somebody get hit by a car?!!! And all the girls could say was how bad they felt for the guy! Kids these days are just so spoiled, here I am at 27 and I STILL haven't seen that. The guy moved a little after, so I'm sure he was fine.

Natalie said...

I too over-use the ... and my {} can NOT be stopped! But I do watch my words pretty carefully {though sometimes I forget to use spellcheck...}

This is Nat R. by the way, not the same Natalie as above. Anyway, I CAN'T read the comments, they drive me too crazy. Sometimes I forget how stirred up I got last time and go for it, but I always regret it! I just can't stand them!

But what I CAN'T STAND MORE are the writers of the actual stories! They are *SO* sappy! Freakin' don't write the story with how I will feel about it in the end in mind, write it objectively and let me think for myself! They skew is so far towards the incredible, trajic or heartless! I DRIVES ME CRAZY! {I am referring mostly to KSL.com...}

Kami said...

You are so cute! I love your take on such things...you have such an eloquent way of stating things (and topics I usually feel the same way about, but don't have such pretty prose to describe).

whit said...

I totally agree! I don't really notice the bad grammar, probably because I'm guilty of it too but I can't believe how much time people waste on there fighting over lame stuff!! It makes me want to write a comment on there and just tell them all what freaking LOSERS they are! But then I realize I would be stooping to their level so I just have to get out of there and go back to online shopping... HA

4 Reale said...

Confession 1:

I have been reading your blog for a while.

Confession 2:

I think you are a fantastic writer!

Confession 3:

My families pumpkin can kick your families pumpkins butt.

Skipper said...

My sister's an English teacher...I have to share this with her.

Darby said...

I hate reading the comments section when people can't spell anything right! It's a huge pet peeve of mine. If you're going to present a side to something, make sure you look intelligent in the process. (I'm proofreading right now.) It doesn't give you any credibility and you're setting yourself up for citicism. Some of the comments are very interesting to me. Not sure if people actually have a thought process going on upstairs if you know what I mean. :)