A Derby Tale

With only an hour or two to spare before the big race, our pinewood derby call was still just a block of wood, two axles and four plastic wheels in a Ziploc baggie.

I was in the kitchen and realized I hadn’t heard a peep from Noah in quite some time. Somewhat akin to the physiological reaction sparked with a toddler suddenly gone silent, my nervousness was piqued and I peered around the corner to see Noah whittling the wood with a razor blade (city kids, our woodworking tools are sub-par, at best). He stepped into the kitchen for the occasional supply – raiding the recycling for an empty spaghetti sauce jar and surveying our limited selection of paint colors.

He kept a lid on the progress and I kept a lid on prying questions until he popped his head around the corner – “how long does it take papier mache to dry?”

Against my better judgment, I finally inquired about the plan.

It would be an understatement to call Noah’s plan brilliance. But because I have no other words, let’s go with brilliance. Sheer brilliance.It had all the makings of a prize-winning vehicle. And because the mean age of Noah’s competitors was roughly 6.7 years, the odds were really stacked in Wienermobile’s favor.Wienermobile met an unfortunate fate, though, when it proved too tall for the track's restrictive gates.

Not to be deterred, Noah made some impressive last minute adjustments. Much to the chagrin of his pint-sized opponents, Wienermobile 2.0 performed exceptionally well. Beating even that most formidable of opponents ... Wrench Car.Wienermobile 2.0 went on to compete in several heats, remarkably (even, confusingly) securing top honors each time. It wasn't until its final run down the track that Wienermobile 2.0 fell behind Empire State Building and Wii Remote (with fully-functioning buttons).

Between you and me, I think Noah was a little relieved to come in third. He may have been a little self-conscious about being the only adult to come with his very own car and sans his very own kid. Plus, he'd received some pretty menacing looks from the Holman boys about his blatantly non-regulation-abiding vehicle.

Competition - and deep-rooted biases against processed meats - can be brutal.